Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
