Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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