Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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