i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
