You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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