I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
