I want to stick my p in your. b.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
