So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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