that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
