Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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