Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
