she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
They have beer where we have blood.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
