biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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