Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
