i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
