I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
