I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
