why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
