Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
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I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
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Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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