One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
