I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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