When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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