So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
