I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
