i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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