i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
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He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
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I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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