high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
