Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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