went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
