Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
