it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
