he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
