no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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