At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.