does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.