No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
