Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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