but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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