I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
