who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
