I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
