what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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