Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
