I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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