the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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