that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
