Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
