yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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