I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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