i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
