I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
