Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
