my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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