If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
