question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
