Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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