I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
