I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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