dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
