This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
