is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
