okay pat passed out under dana's car
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
