I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
