in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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