well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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